August 17, 2010, Day 6

As I mentioned earlier, I am starting to get into the routine of morning meditation. The e-mail for Day 6 of the challenge talks exactly about that; creating a ritual and making my meditation practice as indispensable as brushing my teeth. I still hope I will get to that point, which I think I will. Or rather to the point where I will mediate 30 minutes every morning AND every night. I wonder...

I do some yoga stretching before I start the meditation. It wakes up my body and loosens my hips and legs so I can sit more comfortably on the floor. To my surprise Davidji doesn't talk about the ritual. Instead, he talks about celebration. Again, the challenge comes in unexpected ways. I compose myself and don't hang on to the ritual idea. I scan my body from my toes to my head, as directed by Davidji. My body feels warm and present. Just when I am getting really comfortable, Davidji asks me to think about something I am holding onto, a resentment, a grudge.  I feel anger coming up. I am instructed to not do anything with this feeling, so I let it go. I try to let it go. I want to let it go. "Let go. Let go!" In the meantime, Davidji talks about being grateful. I don't listen. "Mmm, I still feel anger. I should let it go."

Then, there is silence. I mean, Davidji stops talking. I am still wrapped in thoughts and my thoughts are loud. I don't even make it to be still inside before the meditation is over. I guess this is also a challenge in letting go. I am still on my way to creating a ritual, even though there was no stillness today. I will do my best again tomorrrow.

Stay tuned.
Marije