August 15, 2010, Day 4

My head is a little foggy this morning when I go downstairs. However, the after math of last night's bachelorette party of a friend doesn't preclude me from wanting to meditate. I look forward to hearing Davidji's soothing voice. The meditation spell has already been casted on me. What am I supposed to do after the challenge when I'll have to meditate on my own? I realize that this thought has nothing to do with the present moment. I guess the challenge presents itself in more than one way.

I sit down with my back against the couch. It feels comfortable. I do not want to get too attached to my yoga block. I am trying to become an all-round meditator, who can do it anywhere, anytime. Davidji starts of to explain the meaning of the word "mantra", which is "mind instrument". While focusing on a mantra that has no meaning (other than the word "strawberry" of yesterday), the mind stays occupied. The mind can play the mantra, so to speak. Of course, I will still have thoughts, Davidji reminds me, but I will always have the anchor of the mantra to swim back to. That sounds reassuring. When Davidji says that I will be meditating on a mantra now, my mind starts to worry. "Not the So Hum mantra, please! That wasn't working too well when I tried it for a week, after reading one of Deepak's books." Sure enough, Davidji presents the So Hum mantra and offers me to try it.

Inhale "So", exhale "Hum", inhale "So", exhale "Mmm, this isn't so bad. What is he saying now? Oh, he is still talking. Wasn't I supposed to start yet?" Inhale "Ok, back to the mantra", exhale "Hum". "So Hum So Hum". I hear Davidji's voice in the background, but I am not really listening. "So Hum So Hum". I feel peaceful and my mind even gets sort of quiet. Just for a short moment. The meditation is already over. I could have stayed in the meditation. Maybe for another 10 minutes or even longer. I shouldn't challenge myself too much though and open my eyes. This whole challenge is a challenge enough by itself. What if I get to a point that I'm fed up with it? Better not push it too hard. I can't wait till tomorrow.

Stay tuned.
Marije