Month of Miracles - January 14, 2011

Yes, I know the December month has long past. The Month of Miracles. I had the intention to write on miracles daily. But life had something else in mind (keep on reading). Hence my virtual absence. Not that no miracles happened in the meantime. On the contrary.  Just to name a few: the pink clouds that seemed to be hand painted in the Northern Norwegian sky, while the sun didn’t even get above the horizon during the day; after a delayed flight and long lines at Oslo airport I still made a very tight connection; the mere fact that I am alive and the realization what just love can do. Maybe I shouldn’t even say “just” love. As far as I am concerned, love is the only thing “real” in this world. And as A Course in Miracles states: “Love is a Miracle”. So maybe miracles are the only thing we are not making up? Let me tell you something in that respect.

It is Tuesday evening after the Christmas weekend. I am at a friend’s in Amsterdam. My mom calls. I can hear that she is upset. “It’s your grandma”, she says. “She is in the hospital at the IC, you have to come now”. My friend drives me the very long 30 kilometers to the hospital. I am afraid that I am getting there too late. My grandma has a lung condition, so I know that this is serious. When I get there, my grandma is unconscious. She has a tube in her trachea that is connected to a machine. The machine is breathing for her.

My mom, who lives in France but who happened to be with my grandma (isn’t that a miracle in itself?), my aunt, and I sit next to my grandma’s bed the whole night. We are holding her hand. At some point she wakes up a little and acknowledges our presence. She seems comforted by the fact that she is not alone.

With the permission of the doctors I give my grandma Reconnective Healing. The healing frequencies of Light and Information are having effect on the ups and downs of her heartbeat that is displayed on the monitor next to her bed.

By morning my grandma wakes up. She seems to be surprised that she is still alive. Despite the fact that she cannot talk, I can sense her love for us in response to the love we surrounded her with during the night. I give her some more Reconnective Healing. From Norway, my brother is sending healing too.

The doctors too are surprised that she is still alive. They let us know that they’ll have to take out the tube and see if my grandma can breathe on her own. If the tube stays for too long, there is a great risk of infection. Also, the longer the tube stays, the less likely it is that she will be able to breathe without the help of the machine. When asked what she wants them to do in the case she cannot breathe by herself, she makes it clear that she doesn’t want to be intubated again.

The next hour and a half we talk, at least we talk to her and my grandma writes notes. We joke, we laugh and we cry. We hold hands. We are there for my grandma. She is accepting the moment.

Before the doctors send us out of the room, I tell my grandma to do a good job on the breathing so we can spend New Year’s eve together. Outside her room we send her love. In my mind’s eye I see pink angels surrounding her bed. If you don’ believe in angels, wait till the moment a loved one is about to pass away.

Or not…. Five minutes later, my grandma is still alive and breathing without the machine. I give her Reconnective Healing before we go home to sleep.

The next morning, when we get to the hospital, my grandma is sitting next to her bed drinking coffee. The doctors think it’s a miracle. One of the nurses says that he believes now that there is “more between heaven and earth”. I know that it is our presence, our love and the healing that kept my grandma alive. And yes, that is a miracle indeed.

We spent New Year’s eve together. In the hospital. Eating traditional Dutch “oliebollen”.

We go back and forth to the hospital every day. After a week my grandma gets home. She is happy to still be here and share in the love.

Love is a Miracle. Sometimes we just need a little reminder. So stay tuned.

Happy Miracles!

Month of Miracles - December 9, 2010

With my own idea in the back of my mind (that everything is a miracle if you choose to look at it that way), it seems that even more miracles happen every day. Whether this is because I choose to look at these occurrences as miracles, or because of the fact that I am consciously paying attention to meaningful (at least to me) events, which I would have missed if I weren't paying attention, it doesn't really matter. The only thing that is of real importance, is the realization that I am the only one who can make my life more miraculous, more eventful, brighter, happier and anything else that I consider "good" (as opposed to not so good..). You might think that this (taking responsibility for your own life) is easier to say, or write about, than do. Well... keep reading.

When I spoke to a good friend on the phone the other day (who used to work at a law firm 4 days per week), she said: "Oh, you know, I was always complaining that I didn't have time to do the things I really love. I always thought that when I didn't have to go to the office any more, I would do yoga everyday. And I would meditate twice daily and do something creative. And now I am home every day and I still don't do my daily yoga practice, nor do I mediate or do something creative". Since it always seems easier to see other people's patterns than your own (at least it is to me), I said: "So do you realize that the fact that you do or don't do yoga (or anything else that you love, for that matter) has nothing to do with the amount of (free) time you have? The only way to have time to do yoga is when you decide that you have time for it and consciously choose to do it."

Other than time, another big issue for most people seems to be money. I think that many of us think along the lines "Oh, if I only had more money than.. (you can fill it in: I would be happier, my life would be better, etc.) ." When I am not paying attention to my thoughts, I do that too. I tend to think that everything would be easier if I had more money and that I wouldn't have anything to worry about. Well, is that really true? If I had millions in my bank account, a Porsche, a BMW and a yacht in Monaco, would I be worry-free? Most likely not. Because, guess what?: I would probably be worrying about the amount of taxes I would owe, if no one would make a scratch on my shiny cars or if these guys in the south of France know how to take care of my boat the way I would. And to give you a more close-to-home example: every time a financial miracle happens (and yes, they do happen all the time) so I have just the right amount of money I need, I worry if next month such miracle will happen again.

I hear you think. "So what to do? If nothing changes, why bother? If I won't be happier when I get rich, why would I still aspire to be so? Or what about people that actually don't have anything to eat and are really miserable, they would feel better if there circumstances were better, right?" Let me tell you this: the only thing that will actually change anything for the better, is the way you think. The "better" (i.e. happier, less miserable, relaxed, time to do what you love) can only come from inside yourself. When you feel and experience your life as that "better" (take your pick), there is no need anymore to think about more money, more time, more of whatever. You will have everything you need and probably everything you want too. Isn't that a miracle? I think it is.

I know that the next question is "How do I get to feeling "better"?" It is very simple: just change the way you think. "Really? That sounds like a miracle". And it is. To be continued...

Happy miracles to you!

Stay tuned.
Marije

Month of Miracles - December 5, 2010

The question "What is a Miracle?" is keeping my thoughts busy these days. I keep thinking about a comment made by one of the women at the Woman's Wisdom meeting. She said: "Music is a Miracle". To be honest, I didn't really understand it. What is miraculous about music? I mean, music can be pretty generic, doesn't it? However, the more I think about it, and the more I listen to music while thinking about it, I think she is right. Not that there is a "right" or "wrong" in this matter (wasn't I the one who said that everything is a miracle if you choose to look at it that way?). I mean, that I agree with her.


This morning, I go out for a "work-out walk" (instead of running I just walk really fast), accompanied by my iPod. I like listening to music when I go walking really fast. The right music gets me in the right mood. Namely, it makes me want to walk really fast, despite the fact that it is very cold outside and that staying inside would have been a good option. Madonna does the trick for me this time. I can walk my really fast steps exactly at the beat of her music. Now, isn't that interesting? What is it that gets me in the right mood? And why would some meditative music not get my walking really fast? Music is music, you'd say. It is just sound and tones, put together in a creative way. So maybe the mood affecting element of the music has something to do with this creativity of the musician?


To my surprise, the dictionary defines music as: "An art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color". Color?? I immediately envision the chakras. They are related to color too. Moreover, they respond to music as well. The first chakra, associated with the color red, is stimulated by earthly native music, like drumming. Whereas the fifth chakra, with its blue tint, is energized by very expressive music (think the score Cut Loose from the Footloose movie).
And what about emotions? I think that most people know what it is like when music touches you in a way that it makes you cry. All right, I'll speak for myself: sometimes music even makes me cry (because it is very beautiful or because it brings up some memories, either good or bad). Is it the emotion of the composer that speaks through me?  

There is a whole industry that is based on the fact that people are being affected by the sound of music. For that matter: isn't the Sound of Music one on the most popular movies of the last century? Maybe the effect that music has on us is just one miracle. It seems to me that the bigger miracle is the composer creating this music. Where is the music coming from? The composer hears the music in his head and translates that into musical notes that, when being played, create a sound. And when the composer has listened carefully, that sound can be amazing. Beethoven is one of the greatest examples thereof. He was able to compose some of his brilliant musical works of art while being deaf. (Speaking of miracles!) Where is the music coming from? Does it just emerge out of nothing? That sounds like it is coming from some supernatural cause. And that clearly defines a miracle...

Music anyone? Happy Miracles to you!


Stay tuned.
Marije


 

Month of Miracles - December 3, 2010

As you might imagine, we exchanged many insights on miracles during that Woman's Wisdom night. And as I mentioned before, we obviously addressed the question "What is a miracle?". So, indeed: What is a miracle?

The common conception seems to be that a miracle is something out of the ordinary. An amazing occurrence, like Jesus who walked on water and raised people from the death. According to the dictionary, a miracle is an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause. Well, I don't know about you, but I think that is not a very enlightened way to look at the world. Or at least not very fun. If you think that miracles are fun, that is. (And you may have guessed already that I think they are). (By the way: what is a "supernatural cause"? Isn't that just another word for God/The Universe, or whatever you want to call it?)

I actually think, that everything is a miracle if you choose to look at it that way. When you consciously decide to perceive the world as a child in wonder, miracles happen all the time. Bon Jovi seems to be thinking along the same lines: "Miracles happen every day, change your perception of what a miracle is and you'll see them all around you." Some people may say that it is easy to "fool" yourself, and that is "doesn't work this way". If that were the case (that I'm a fool), I'd rather be a happy fool than unhappily waiting for a miracle to happen... 

Okay, let me give you an example: This morning I wake up with this one song that keeps playing in my head. I don't even know the song that well. I heard it only once. I like the song though. I even decide that I should check it out on iTunes later. An hour later, I get in the car and turn the radio on. The last part of some random song comes out of the speakers, and is making room for the next one. When I hear the notes of the next song, I get goose bumps. It is the song that played on my mental radio when I woke up. I think it is a miracle.

Yes, I think it is a miracle. And no, it is not an earth shattering it-blows-your-mind-away kind of miracle. It is a synchronicity that makes me smile. For me, it is a confirmation that I am in tune with the Universe/God/the Bigger Picture, whatever you want to call it. It makes my day a little brighter. And isn't that what we all want, having a bright day? 


I can create my own miracles. I think that is a miracle in itself.


Happy miracles to you!


Stay tuned.
Marije

Month of Miracles - December 1, 2010

Tonight, I joined a Woman's Wisdom gathering. This group of women has been meeting every month for 10 years, and discusses a different (spiritual) topic each time. The theme of tonight was: Miracles. Now, there is a lot to say about miracles, and we did. I also could write a lot about miracles, and I will. Hence this blog.

As far as I’m concerned, miracles happen every day and any time. However, for most people it seems that during the December month in particular it is more “miracle time”  than usual. (Why that is, is a whole different story, and maybe I will write about that too.) Regardless, I do think that now is a good time to write about miracles. Starting with one of the miracles that happened tonight.

The Wisdom that is being shared amongst the Women tonight is profound. I make mental notes, so I will be able to reproduce it later (and write about it in this blog). After sharing a round of  answering the question “What is a miracle?” (yes, I will write about that later), the woman who is guiding our group talks about forgiveness. She tells us about a woman in Rwanda that sees her whole family being killed before her eyes. The most horrible thing ever, you would think. And yet, she forgives the murderers. We talk about the fact that carrying around resentment, grievance, anger or any negative emotions withhold us from living a truly blissful and miraculous live. Suddenly, I realize that I still feel anger against the woman who caused a car accident in which she rear-ended my car, resulting in a lot of pain and suffering on my end (and maybe also on hers, I don’t even know). I realize that I need to forgive her. If the woman in Rwanda can do it, so do I. I decide to write a letter. I am not going to mail the letter. I will do it right here (I like instant results). So (and I take a deep breath), here it goes:

“Dear Mrs. Brennan,

I am writing to you regarding the accident that was caused by you on May 24, last.

I don’t know if you were hurt that day, but if you were I hope you are okay now. I was injured badly. I have suffered a lot, and am still dealing with a lingering injury. I have cursed you many times. I have called you many names. I have wished that you were suffering worse than I was.  I have considered suing you for damages. I have thought of many ways to make your live miserable.

I realize that no matter what I do, it will not change what happened. The only thing that I can change is the way I think and feel about it. The accident was just that: an accident. You didn’t cause it on purpose. Therefore, I would like to forgive you for causing the accident. I know that you did not have any intention to hurt me. I am sorry that this unfortunate event happened, also for you. I hope that we will both continue our lives safely and in peace.

Sincerely,

Marije Paternotte”

There it is. My own miracle. And that isn’t even the only one of tonight. Stay tuned for more.

Happy miracles to you!

Marije

Part 2: Day 1, October 11, 2010

Well, this morning I didn't feel the urge to meditate at all. With the jet leg still lingering, I had slept till late and I wanted to get started with my day. As if meditating is not a start to the day... It didn't get any better when I found that the supposedly 21-days-meditation-challenge Part 2, was not a Part 2 at all. It is just a repetition of the previous challenge, with the exact same meditations and accompanying e-mails. A cosmic joke? Maybe. A challenge? Definitely. I guess the Universe is telling me that I don't need a challenge in order to establish a meditation routine. Or at least I don't need Davidji's daily meditations. After feeling disappointed and frustrated, I realized that I should be able to do this on my own. Right? Just in case, I downloaded the Chopra Center's pod cast and used the Abundance Meditation as my guidance.

I can use some abundance in my life, I am thinking. Not that I am not abundant in many ways, but finances seem to be my challenge at the moment. Especially now that I have my own business and do not receive an identical pay check in the mail every month. So this Abundance Meditation seems to get me two checks in the block: abundance and meditation. Sounds good.

I sit on my yoga block and am instructed to think about 3 things that I am grateful for. Ha, I can come up with more than 3! My thoughts have a good reason to wander off. "There, you see, I am still not good at meditating!" I take a deep breath in and let the air flow out through my nose. I inhale abundance and exhale constriction. I inhale love and exhale fear. I inhale uncertainty and exhale certain pain. To my surprise, this works. Without knowing how to actually breathe in abundance, I can feel myself expanding. And not because I am filling myself with oxygen. At the same time, I wonder if this is really working. If it were, why do I still think I need to do these kind of exercises? Is it necessary to focus on abundance? Aren't we all abundant to begin with? And haven't we just forgotten and are subsequently acting accordingly? Maybe I should stop thinking.

I take another deep breath in and exhale completely. I can do this. I don't need a challenge. I will meditate every day, for the next 20 days. Just by myself. And if I need more food for thought (you never know..) I might reach for some guidance. That guidance might as well come from within. We'll see! 

Stay tuned,
Marije

Part 2: Day 0, October 10, 2010

After having completed the 21-days-meditation-challenge, I thought I had established a new routine of meditating every morning, or at least some time every day. But then my routine got disturbed: I traveled from the East Coast via Tokyo and Singapore, to teach a yoga retreat on Bali, Indonesia. A journey of more than 30 hours, 12 hours time difference, strange beds to wake up in and on a schedule most of the time. How is that for a challenge?

I found it hard to keep my routine, feeling like I didn't have time to meditate. Even though I am the one who always tells people you don't "have" time, but "make" time... When I did find time to meditate, I used Day 22's Intention Meditation to guide me. The "bonus" meditation Davidji had sent me. I especially loved the part where the meditation focused on a pulsating white light in my heart. With that, I felt such a strong connection with the Universe that it made up for not meditating every day. And eventually, something even more interesting happened.

One day, after finishing the yoga retreat and being on a little island of the coast of Bali, I suddenly felt very strongly the need to meditate. I realized that the reason why I was feeling "weird" that day, was because my energy was scattered. I needed to ground and focus. So I used a rock on the beach as a substitute for my yoga block, sat up straight and closed my eyes. After only 5 minutes of concentrating on my breathing and visualizing a pulsating white light in my heart, I felt like a different person. Much better, that is. I was amazed. I mean, I already knew that meditating is a good thing to do, for many reasons, but I had never felt this urge before, let alone the immediate effect of the meditation afterwards. I guess the 21 days of meditation had some belated and unexpected rewards.

When I saw that there would be a 21-days-meditation-challenge Part 2, I didn't hesitate to sign up. Being back home, and still with a jet lag, I thought I could use some assistance to get back into my meditation routine. Besides, who knows what other surprises will be bestowed?

Stay tuned,
Marije