Part 2: Day 1, October 11, 2010

Well, this morning I didn't feel the urge to meditate at all. With the jet leg still lingering, I had slept till late and I wanted to get started with my day. As if meditating is not a start to the day... It didn't get any better when I found that the supposedly 21-days-meditation-challenge Part 2, was not a Part 2 at all. It is just a repetition of the previous challenge, with the exact same meditations and accompanying e-mails. A cosmic joke? Maybe. A challenge? Definitely. I guess the Universe is telling me that I don't need a challenge in order to establish a meditation routine. Or at least I don't need Davidji's daily meditations. After feeling disappointed and frustrated, I realized that I should be able to do this on my own. Right? Just in case, I downloaded the Chopra Center's pod cast and used the Abundance Meditation as my guidance.

I can use some abundance in my life, I am thinking. Not that I am not abundant in many ways, but finances seem to be my challenge at the moment. Especially now that I have my own business and do not receive an identical pay check in the mail every month. So this Abundance Meditation seems to get me two checks in the block: abundance and meditation. Sounds good.

I sit on my yoga block and am instructed to think about 3 things that I am grateful for. Ha, I can come up with more than 3! My thoughts have a good reason to wander off. "There, you see, I am still not good at meditating!" I take a deep breath in and let the air flow out through my nose. I inhale abundance and exhale constriction. I inhale love and exhale fear. I inhale uncertainty and exhale certain pain. To my surprise, this works. Without knowing how to actually breathe in abundance, I can feel myself expanding. And not because I am filling myself with oxygen. At the same time, I wonder if this is really working. If it were, why do I still think I need to do these kind of exercises? Is it necessary to focus on abundance? Aren't we all abundant to begin with? And haven't we just forgotten and are subsequently acting accordingly? Maybe I should stop thinking.

I take another deep breath in and exhale completely. I can do this. I don't need a challenge. I will meditate every day, for the next 20 days. Just by myself. And if I need more food for thought (you never know..) I might reach for some guidance. That guidance might as well come from within. We'll see! 

Stay tuned,
Marije